“Hey Kieran, do you want to go see [insert movie] ?”
Typical response: “Noooo! I don’t wanna see [movie]! I don’t want to! I don’t want to go!”
Exceptional Parenting Techniques For Getting Your 4 Year Old To Go See A Kids Movie You Really Want To See, But They Don’t.
Horton Hears a Who:
Get ‘em excited: Come on, you’re gonna love it! It’s a big elephant! He hears tiny people! He’s funny!
Bribe: I’ll buy you popcorn. How about a slurpee? Bacon?
Guilt: You’re hurting mommy’s feelings Kieran. You don’t want to go see a movie with mommy? You saw Alvin and the Chipmunks with Daddy!
Anger: I want to see Horton and I want you to come with me! You’ll eat popcorn and you’ll laugh and we’ll have lots of fun, gosh-darnit!!
Kung Fu Panda:
Start their engines: It’s got lots of action! Animals, action….a friggin Panda doing Kung Fu!! How much more awesome can it get? You can learn all kinds of moves to try on your friends at daycare!!
Scare: Mommy AND Daddy are going to see this movie, and if you don’t come with us, you’ll be left in the car all by yourself. And then a policeman will come by and see you and get you out, then stop the movie so he can arrest mommy and daddy for being bad parents and we’ll be thrown in JAIL!
Guilt: Do you want mommy and daddy to go to jail because you wouldn’t watch Kung Fu Panda with us??
Bribe: There might be a special surprise waiting for you. Maybe a candy bar, a hot wheels car or, hell, a pony!
Wall-E
Refer back to the marketing: Don’tcha want to see the funny robot? The one from all the billboards? He’s a funny guy, right? Look, there’s another billboard right there. Awesome!
Bargain: All right, I’ll buy you that toy train so you can play with it while we’re at Travel Town, but you’re going to go see Wall-E with Daddy, right?
Threats: Look, I’ll take that toy away I just bought for you if you don’t see this movie with me.
Guilt: Mommy needs us to vacate the house for a few hours or she’s going to hurt daddy, and you want daddy to be able to see out of both eyes so he can play toy cars with you later, don’t you?
Typical response after pulling teeth all the way to the theater seat: “I liked that movie mommy, daddy! That was great!”
